Choosing the right bridesmaids for you

One of the first decisions you might want to make after you get engaged is who your bridesmaids are going to be. After all wedding planning won’t be as fun without your closest family and friends by your side. However, for some brides thinking about who your bridesmaids should be is more of a headache with a lot of stress and pressure they sometimes put on themselves to make the “right” decision. In this guide we will be giving some key tips and insights you might want to consider when choosing your bridesmaids and take some of the stress off your shoulders.

Think about who you’re closest to

You can do this by making a written list if it helps you, but the best place to start when determining who your bridesmaids should be is considering the closest people in your life. If you have one or more sisters that you’re close with that is always important to consider as well as long standing best friends and cousins.

Keep in mind that if you have a large circle of people that you’re close with you shouldn’t feel pressured to make everyone a bridesmaid if you would prefer to have a smaller number in the bridal party. Whether that is to balance with the number of groomsmen, ensure the ceremony won’t be overcrowded in a smaller venue, or you simply prefer to have less bridesmaids.

Don’t rule out having men in your bridal party

Despite not being a traditional wedding approach, it is a popular choice for bridesmaids who have brothers rather than sisters or don’t have many close female friends to include men in the bridal party. This can help relieve some of the pressure as there is less likely to be hurt feelings for any female friends you didn’t choose if you explain that your brother or cousin is going to be the equivalent of a bridesmaid.

Consider the role of a bridesmaid and the right people to fill it

This is especially relevant when selecting a maid of honour as there are more responsibilities involved in that role, but it can apply to bridesmaids too. Being a bridesmaid isn’t just about putting on a dress and walking down the aisle. It involves supporting the bride and helping her with anything she needs both during the planning of the wedding and on the big day itself.

Therefore, if you know some of your friends are busy with work or live far away, or perhaps wouldn’t want those responsibilities, and can’t necessarily be there for all the key parts of a bridesmaid role, then it will probably be best to choose those who can be. It’s one of the most important days of your life, you don’t want to cause any tension or arguments with your friends over bridesmaid roles.

Keep personality dynamics in mind

If you’re an extrovert with a lot of friends and siblings, it can be difficult to bring those circles together and unite them as your bridal party. Everyone is different and if you have friends that don’t know each other beforehand it could be their personalities clash when they’re both bridesmaids which will negatively impact the planning and overall experience of your wedding.

A good way to avoid this if you can’t reduce the number of bridesmaids, you’re having is to encourage a meet up before you take on any wedding tasks together. This will give all the girls the opportunity to get to know each other better away from the stress of wedding planning and to set any differences aside for the benefit of the bride.

Try and stick to your budget

Not every bride will intend to pay for their bridesmaid dresses, but some might and the more bridesmaids you have the more expensive it will become, even if you are looking at more affordable bridesmaid dresses. So, as tempting as it can be to just give in to the pressure and make everyone a bridesmaid, you need to consider the cost implications of that and if it’s going to be too expensive for you, ultimately you will have to narrow down your choice of bridesmaids.

Even if the bridesmaids are going to pay for the dresses themselves there are plenty of other costs that could be reduced for you if you have fewer bridesmaids. Also, it’s not just your budget that you will need to think about but the bridesmaids too. Some of your friends may not be able to afford the costs that incur with being a bridesmaid so it’s important to have that conversation with them beforehand and potentially give them a different role in the wedding.

FAQs for choosing bridesmaids

Do I have to ask someone who asked me to be a bridesmaid?

There can be some guilt involved if you don’t want to choose someone to be a bridesmaid when they asked you to be one at their wedding. However, every person’s wedding and circumstances are different, and you need to do what is right for you and your wedding like they did for theirs. You shouldn’t ask someone to be a bridesmaid simply because they asked you to be one, it will affect the whole dynamic of the bridal party. That being said it is important to handle the situation with care and sensitivity so as not to hurt her feelings.

How far in advance should I choose my bridesmaids?

This is a tricky question to answer as you will probably want to make the decision earlier on in your wedding planning journey. However, don’t rush into choosing the bridesmaids as once you have asked someone, you can’t go back if you change your mind. Make sure you give yourself enough time to feel fully confident and happy with your decision but don’t leave it too long as it can hold up other key parts of the planning like bridesmaid dress shopping.


Once you have decided on your bridesmaids you will want to start looking for their dresses. At Maids to Measure we have a wide range of bridesmaid dress styles and colours to suit the exact type of wedding you’re having and make your girls look and feel amazing. Explore our collection of beautiful bridesmaid dresses UK to find the perfect dresses for your special day.